2008...Life Changing

As I think of all the December 31st's of my life I have to say this one has been by far the most reflective. To say my life changed this year would be an understatement of biblical proportions. If you would have told me this time last year that I would voluntary walk away from my 16 year career at Sprint, take an 8 month sabbatical from work, turn down job opportunities and then help start a new company I would have told you to take another drink and smoke em' if you got em'. I may have agreed that I might start writing but the majority of major actions I took in my life this year were by and far not even a consideration in my mind just 12 months ago. So, as I wrap-up 2008, I thought I would share those "big moments" that may not have occurred had I stayed comfortable, common, and chicken. My wish for you and me in 2009....focus on ambition, be powerful in action, help others succeed, and design life with confidence.

Big Moment #5
I remember when I made the decision to take VSP....it came after spending a few agonizing schizophrenic weeks going back and forth making my husband crazy as I ran the gamut of "hell yes I'm leaving" to "hell no that would be insane!" My boss was the one who actually thought about leaving first and triggered me to start thinking that life may not only go on without Sprint but would more than likely be a lot better. Then a coffee conversation with my good friend Steve Coker made everything crystal clear....fear was my only inhibitor. So, I grew a pair, told the Chief Network Officer I was grateful for all that I had learned, and then with the biggest cheesiest squinty eyed smile you have ever seen, I pushed the "yes I'll take VSP" button on a Friday morning in February. I'll never forget the emotion and freedom I felt at that very moment...I had grown up and it was time to start a new chapter.

Big Moment #4
This big moment is actually two different days but both of them spent with my son Zachary. Believe it or not he actually asked me to hang out with him at school for a whole day so I could get a feel for a day in the life of a freshman. I only wish I had started the blog back then as that would have been one hell of a funny post recapping what I experienced....let's just say his 7th hour ended up with two girls getting kicked out of class. The 2nd day was a little hiking trip Zach took me on early in summer. I thought it was so cool that a 15 year old boy wanted to take his mom on a trip through the woods to the lake near by. One freaky deer, a mile of chest high brush, a barbed wire fence and thousands of ticks later would provide us a story to share for a lifetime.

Big Moment #3
After lots and lots of discussion and a pretty good softball season, Samantha decided she wanted to try out for competitive softball. Now for those of you with kids, watching your children try-out for something they love and not get picked is as close to torture as you can get. Trying to find the right words of encouragement is more difficult than any writer's block you will ever experience. To watch your child practice, grow, overcome again and again to then have a great performance and finally be selected by an "A" team after all the trials, will fill your heart with unimaginable pride.

Big Moment #2
We experienced a hunting accident this fall that made us stop and realize that life can really change in just a split second. Our friend, Jason Evans lost his eye which needless to say really sucks but considering he had three pellets in his head we are so very thankful he survived with no other life impacting injuries. What is even more amazing is the positive attitude and care Jason has shown for the shooter, which happens to be my dad. I don't think anyone will ever know the pain my dad has experienced since that day but I will tell you that Jason has shown him more love, forgiveness and support than you can imagine and as a daughter who worships her dad as a hero, I am forever grateful. If you are going to hunt, wear your orange, stay in your line and be careful!

Drum Roll.......Big Moment #1
Last night, no doubt about it. The fear was growing, the emotion building, and the reality coming to light that this past year wasn't a dream. I cried. The dam broke and the tears flowed and my wonderful loving husband held me and told me I made the right decision, I was going to be more successful than ever, and that I will make money again, soon. I let the emotion overtake me as I realized how much I grew this year and what I had become....a real honest to goodness bonafide adult woman. I then realized my fear wasn't about if I was going to make money again or being successful. My fear is that as I start making money again will I lose all that I gained this year?

I finally embraced motherhood with both arms and was good at it, I had time to listen to my husband and enjoyed being a "housewife", and I actually started to figure out what I liked vs. what I am good at. I found new interests in writing, community, and connecting. I always told myself and others that I could never be a stay at home mom, that I needed to work, that my work was my identity. What I realized last night is that was bullshit and I cried because I can't get the years back. My fear is going right back to who I was in April and losing all that I have gained. My sadness is I now know when I am back to working I know what I will be missing. In that moment, my big moment of 2008, the journey culminated with a commitment to myself that family is first no matter what and to be in the moment with them every chance I get.

2008 was real and I will forever be blessed and grateful for the opportunity.

Be who you are and learn to be better,
Lisa